in which Porfiry messes with Raskolnikov

My friend Matt showed up at open apartment a few months ago and announced that he'd written a poem he wanted to share with us. We didn't realized he had already launched into the part of The Grand Inquisitor from The Brothers Karamazov which begins, 


"Do you know Alyosha--don't laugh!--I made a poem about a year ago. If you can waste another ten minutes on me, I'll tell it to you."

"You wrote a poem?"

"Oh no, I didn't write it," laughed Ivan, "and I've never written two lines of poetry in my life. But I made up this poem in prose and I remembered it. I was carried away when I made it up. You will be my first reader--that is, listener. Why should an author forego even listener?" smiled Ivan. "Shall I tell it to you?"

"I am all attention," said Alyosha.

"My poem is called 'The Grand Inquisitor'; it's a ridiculous thing, but I want to tell it to you."


A few weeks later, Matt came back with Porfiry's speech from Crime and Punishment. We made a video of it, and here it is.