on green monsters and peanut-butter oatmeal

. . . and beet borscht, banana macaroons, lamb curry, pita bread, pizza dough, coconut-milk pudding, chickpea soup, cucumber salad, wholegrain bread, salsa fresca, coleslaw, raw oatmeal cookies, pumpkin bread, black bean burritos, sweet-potato soup, hummus, guacamole, rice pudding, salad dressing, eggplant pie . . .

I have never cooked and concocted so much in my life. I have never taken my vitamins so faithfully, or drunk so much water. I have never had to buy fruit and vegetables twice a week in order to keep the fridge stocked. I have never had such a full freezer, or tackled so many fat and mysterious squashes.

I am loathe to say that adding spinach to my smoothies and learning to make cookies without eggs or butter in them has radically changed my life, or made me a more righteous person. I won't say so. What I will say is that my ongoing attempt to improve my eating habits, increase my fitness level, and lose some weight has born delightful and unexpected fruit in our basement kitchen. I have learned how to cook. I have discovered the pleasure of fresh, scratch food, and the untapped opportunities of ingredients. (most of) The meals we eat are delicious. The process of cooking them calms me. I feel sure that I am nourishing myself. I am suddenly, decidedly unafraid of food. I am smug, and call this progress.